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THE SEARCH FOR THE PERFECT DONUT

 
For a few years as a child, whenever my birthday came around and my mother asked me what I wanted, I answered, “A dozen donuts.” My ambitions were perhaps not large-scale at that time, but I knew what I liked. Precisely, I wanted a box of donuts from Mister Donut in Gardner, Massachusetts, now long-gone, replaced by the far inferior franchise Dunkin Donuts, outbreaking like a wretched disease in towns large and small all over the country. The pandemic seems unstoppable. Anyone who likes Dunkin Donuts has been lulled into submission by the frequency of their appearance on the landscape and has obviously never taken up the search for the perfect donut. (And don’t get me started on their much-hyped coffee: simply awful.)
     Even here in New York, the city that supposedly has everything, the mom-and-pop donut shop is hard to find. I recently found Mike’s Place in my new neighborhood of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, on Third Avenue. I have to walk  a few extra blocks and bypass Dunkin Donuts, my nose in the air, but it is worth the journey. There aren’t a lot of kinds, maybe six or eight, but when the donuts are that good, you don’t need more. The basic jelly, bavarian creme, lemon-filled, chocolate, coconut, plain, honey glazed and chocolate frosted will do. Who needs the dry, artificial-tasting blueberry cake donuts they try to pass off on you at Dunkin Donuts?
     Another favorite spot, still holding out after many years, is the Donut Pub on West 14th Street in Manhattan. I wandered in there for a midnight snack a few months ago (yes, they are still fresh at midnight) and the customer in front of me (obviously a tourist) expressed surprise at the high price of his two donuts and coffee. When I came up to the counter after him, I announced, “I don’t care if you charge $5 a donut, just don’t ever become Dunkin Donuts!” This won me an appreciative applause from the two ladies behind the counter.
     And that’s another thing. A good donut shop should not have high school or college kids looking bored as they fetch your delicious, prized donuts. As if donuts were McDonald’s, for God’s sake! The counterperson at a donut shop should look like your favorite aunt, the tough one who smokes and has lived a full life. She appreciates a cup o’ joe and a sweet thing in the morning with her cigarette.
     A few years ago, another donut chain landed on our northeast doorstep with much publicity and fanfare. I speak of Krispy Kreme, which was soundly rejected here in New York and cast off of its high-rent West 23rd Street perch. The donuts were measly, yet each specimen contained about three times the sugar of a donut twice its size. The success of a donut is not measured in sweetness, Krispy Kreme, a lesson you never learned. We shouldn’t feel as if we’re going to have a heart attack after consuming just two.
     So what exactly does make a good donut? Well, let’s take the jelly donut. The jelly donut should not be so full that when you bite into it, it spills out and plops onto the table, leaving a sticky mess on you and it. The jelly donut should look plump and enticing, like a slightly deflated softball, and it should be covered in powdery, confectioners sugar, not the common granulated sugar used by Dunkin Donuts. The jelly should be far enough into the donut that you may not reach it until the second bite. This always brings a desired surprise effect. There should be just enough jelly to give you a luscious taste, but leave you wanting more. It is a mistake to think that jelly is the main ingredient in a jelly donut. No, no, no! The key to a donut’s greatness--jelly or otherwise--is in the softness, moistness and abundance of dough. The dough should not be overly sweet--let the sugaring bring out the sweetness--but it should taste like something you can’t get anywhere else. For example, the Dunkin Donut dough, if you close your eyes, could be a slightly stale bagel, Wonderbread or your basic Drake’s cake, depending on the flavor (or lack thereof).
     Lastly, the donut should always be thought of as a treat, not a daily staple of your diet. Right now, I treat myself to Mike’s Place roughly twice a week (“It’s the weekend” or  “I deserve a midweek treat” are common justifications), occasionally three times (“Shucks, I’ve run out of cereal”). Fortunately, I’ve also found a local gym and have joined. Now, if I can keep myself from thinking, “I just worked out, I deserve a couple donuts,” I’ll be fine.
 


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KevScoHall@Verizon.net

 
 

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